wishful thinking

another exam is finished.

i hope i did better than what i was able to do in my first exam.

sleepless - helpless

kadadating ko lang bahay from 141 aral.

july 29, 2009. 2:40am.

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imagination exists

one of the things i like most about my family is its inherent love of food.

this is not apparent in my being underweight. despite the love of eating and good food, i cannot seem to gain weight.

i tried to intake all the food i can so that i could gain, even in small infinitesimal units, weight in time for my grad pictorial tomorrow.

it was a good thing that i was home yesterday. my walking disability was a hidden blessing after all.

the table was packed with food one could only imagine. it was just like harry potter's dinner table. there was adobo pasta, spare ribs, fried chicken, fish fillets, a chocolate fountain and fondant cake.

there was also the healthier side of things. the beverages were fruit shakes. it ranged from bananas to three-fruit combinations.

at the end of the day, i only wished one day of eating will leave me 10 more pounds.

thought vomit

it was a weird feeling to be home at 5:30pm.

this past week, the earliest i've been is 8:00pm. and, i think that i overstretched myself this past week. i am feeling fatigued right now. although, i have not lost the will to study for the IE141 exam this monday.

i am being too active for my metabolism. at this rate, i would weigh 30 kilograms by the end of the sem. that, i do not want to happen.

tonight, im just here for some updating with my life.

although there is too little to tell.

i didnt know why, but i almost cried last night. having an injury on both ankles isnt good. so, i ate a whole lot of bananas early this morning. maybe it did its trick because the most recent injury doesnt hurt. tomorrow morning, maybe it will.

wow, this is a good word vomit entry. or maybe, thought vomit might be the right term.

i dont know if i will be able to attend the last day of UPCamp tomorrow. the 30 pesos rebate on complete attendance will be lost. :(

however, that is not what im worried about. it is about my work as an Acadcomm Director that gives me these anxious moments. i think that i have not been performing well or been performing way beyond what is expected of me. i am so disappointed.

next week is the official turn over a new leaf week. this weekend, i will start with my rejuvenation process so that i can reclaim the energy and will that i had when this semester started.

i think that my grammar is off. but, i would like this entry to stay that way because it will show that these are thoughts that directly came from my mind.

ok, i have got to stop this. i have too many things to take care of. :) ill just update some other time. :)

cold and wet

it was a cold, rainy afternoon and the car is stuck in traffic.

Thank You to Augusta for the picture. :)

for quite some time, i never had enough time to make my mind wander. the car was not able to move in the past 10 minutes. i divert my attention to the scene outside.

it was raining but there were many people in the restaurant. they were happily eating and must be waiting for the rush hour to pass.

outside the restaurant, there was a couple - bodies touching, hands held and under an umbrella. it must be good, i thought, to have someone by your side in a cold and rainy day like this. it must have felt warm to know that there was someone out there willing to hold your hand. it must have been fulfilling to be able to care for somebody.

then, a passing car splashed water all around. and, as quickly as the rain dries when the sun reveals itself, the thought of a couple standing under the rain was gone.

and, yet, another daydream. another story. another reflection.

abstraction

today is like blah.

i do not know what is happening. nor do i have any idea why it happens. i am feeling like im blind, deaf and incapacitated all at once.

the silence kills me and so does the noise.

it was a good thing i had something to do to keep my mind off things.

i am hoping for a better week.

and a UP win against DLSU on Thursday.

root beer float

it was a long long day.

the day started out at 7am. i actually slept at around 2am the night/morning before. i had to go to UP early to deliver the logistics goods to mico before i head to Amoranto Stadium for the IE-EEE match.

i rode with RC to the venue alongside Mitch and Carlo. that time, i was really pressured/intense because of the current standing of the IE Department in this year's Eng'g Cup. from being the over-all champions last year, we are now second to last. it really disappoints me that this year's batch of players does not have enough heart to win for the department.

i was also pressured because my players are nowhere near the venue. it was a good thing that EEE was not able to serve the ball before the 6th member of the team arrived. not long after, Johnrey arrived. it was a better team than having to lose by default.

the match turned out to be good as we won 2 sets to none. it was a good feeling because as long as i remember we never won against EEE. we never got to be on top of the bracket in men's volleyball. and, now, we have the goods to make it to the finals. but that is another story. we still have to face CS on wednesday and make sure that we win so that we will be facing ME from the other bracket.

after the game, we stayed to watch the women's match - IE versus ChE. the women's team was also able to handle their opponents. it was a good thing that the major events are pulling all the strings together to make a fight for the over-all crown.

after the games, we went directly to DonARoces HS where we are holding our organization's annual UPCAT review. it was almost done when we arrived so we didn't have to do anything else. we were also there to carpool with people going to the ORSP Seminar at Asia Pacific College.

from DonARoces, we rode with Mel and Grace and had to drive-thru for lunch. we were really later because the seminar starts at 1pm - that was also the time we left DonA.

we arrived at APC after some hassle with (my) directions and some traffic. however, frustration takes place as we were not allowed to enter the auditorium because of some confusion by the secretary (?). we then decided to just tambay outside of the auditorium. we were really hoping to be able to get in.

so, we just joked around what the Ma'amJ-141 takers would be writing in their reaction paper - like how unefficient the management was considering it was the Operations Research Society who made all of this happen and how the optimum, constraints and objective function were not necessarily addressed in the situation. it was fun. it was frustrating. it was a complex basket of emotions.

when we were quite bored, we decided to ditch the seminar and go to SM North instead. at 7pm, we are to watch a screening of the new Harry Potter film - the Half-Blood Prince.

(if you haven't seen the movie, there might be spoilers in this part)

i was really excited to watch the movie. after all, i've heard that is better than the 5th installment. these are my comments.

Comment 1:

i like the script of this movie better than the last one. it's easier to relate to and sounds more natural for teenagers and for the ages of the other characters.

Comment 2:

the cinematography is very good. i like how they made use of all the landscape they could. also, the continuity of certain scenes made use of the whole set/castle/landscape. great great visuals. a two-thumbs up.

Comment 3:

i liked how they made the movie lighter with a small bitin effect towards the end. i just realized that this is a trailer to the grand two-part finale that will be shown on 2010 and 2011.

Comment 4:

there are certain scenes that should not have been deleted. the whole history of voldemort (a.k.a. tom riddle) is not explained. especially why dumbledore knew the location of the horcrux they got from the cave and the importance of splitting voldemort's soul into seven. this, as i know, are very important information towards understanding the seventh movie.

Comment 5:

in contrast to the important scenes they missed, there were also scenes that should not have been put into the final editting. for example, the attack of Bella and Fenrir of the Burrow. i do not think that it made such a big impact on the story.

Comment 6:

also, there were also missing parts on the struggle of Draco in fulfilling his responsibilities as a new Death Eater. and, the development and, gradual, end of the Ginny-Harry relationship.

Comment 7:

the Lavender Brown actress was really good. :)

over-all, i'd rate the movie 7 out of a possible 10. and i'd say it is really better than its predecessor.

and, now, i retire.

anticipation

i am really excited kasi HPHBP na bukas.

.

the lone wolf

Thank You to the IMP Awards for the movie's poster.

i saw this movie at the Shangri-La Cinema Complex one Friday evening. it is about Tony Takitani, an artist, who is the son of a jazz musician.

the main theme of the movie, which is only about an hour and a half long, is loneliness and depression. this was exagerrated by the very slow pace of the movie.

Tony Takitani has been single and alone for most of his life. i could actually emotionally connect to the story.

sports is a fickle friend

some people do not understand what it is to be involved in sports.

since i entered college, my lifestyle has been more active. it might have been a consequence of joining IE Club or being in the College of Engineering.

Eng'g has a very competitive nature which is exemplified by different competitions here and there. some of which are Eng'g Cup, Marketing Congress and the much-awaited Eng'g Week.

anyway, ever since i entered Eng'g i have been more participative in activities like sports and dancing. this is very ironic from my high school lifestyle which revolved around academics.

lately, i suffered an injury caused by the tearing of ankle ligaments. this is a very common injury in sports. so, i didn't fret because i know that if cared for, the ankle will slowly return to its original state.

however, others seems to abhor the fact that i continue to be active with swollen ankles. i know my limitations and that i cannot push myself in this condition. also, they are telling me that i should stop playing for me not te get injured again.

but, hey, i am an athlete. no injury can stop me from playing the game that i love. this is what they do not understand. it might seem insensitive, but i guess that they didn't have a sport that they are passionate about. i care about my physical well-being. but, i also care about doing the stuff that i love.

UP also taught me to be a fan of my own alma mater. when i was in high school, i didn't believe that our athletes can take on other schools. we'd always be shouting, "quizbee na lang!" just to trash talk the opponent. however, introduced to the UP culture, i have always believed in the Fighting Maroons.

we may be the whipping boys of the men's basketball, but our other sports have the power to counter every enemy move.

so, last sunday, i was watching UP's opening game of the season. which we lost, by the way. then, i was excited for the first quarter because the Maroons where doing good. i didn't notice that i was shout YEAH and NICE and GOOD JOB whenever the players are able to score a basket.

now, this uncle of mine reprimanded me that i was a noisy watcher. if i could just tell him, "kung makita mo ang mga Amerikano manood, mas malala pa sila sa akin"

i do not know if i should pity him for not knowing how it is to be a fan. maybe someday, he'll learn from it.

so, this is for now. i must remember that i have a new diet to try. eat more, that is. :)

hysteria

i am a bit worried.

i might be wearing out my body little by little everyday. now, i have these swollen ankles. well, they are not that swollen anymore. but, i reinjured the torn ligament i had two weeks ago.

also, i do not eat the amount of food in proportion to the nergy i expend. i should be eating more or be active less.

i'll start this tomorrow. :)

live thought

masyado ko atang pinapagod ang sarili ko.

craved

today, i craved.

Thank You to Hasloo for the logo. :)

i have been wanting to eat carrot cake for quite some time now. ever since i saw Camille eat it at the tambayan, i've been looking for a place to buy some.

today was my lucky day. i was able to convince some friends, Icy and Patag, to eat at Chocolate Kiss Cafe for me to have my slice of carrot cake.

ChocKiss, as it is fondly called, is found at The Bahay ng Alumni. it has a nice ambiance when it is not full. the downside is that the room is a bit cold if the number of customers is small.

anyway, it is always a nice experience when dining in ChocKiss. the service is good but the food is a bit pricey for a restaurant situated inside a school campus. however, what you pay for is definitely worth it.

for lunch, i had Salisbury Steak. it might be one of the best i've tasted. it was a big serving - something restaurant food lacks these days. also, it was so tender. i was not really sure about the garnish. at first, i thought it was deep-fried garlic but it did not taste like that. anyway, the added mystery made it more delicious. the button mushrooms were gigantic! :))

for dessert, i had my carrot cake. what i enjoyed most about it is that the cream cheese, which is a small part of the cake, carried majority of the sugar content. the cake itself was so chewy and had real carrot grinds. i felt like i'm in heaven.

i had lunch for almost 3 hours, 1-4pm, because we were also there to talk about school work. i was so full that i need not eat before volleyball training at 6. in fact, i was still full by the time i arrived home.

next time, i might order Beef Stroganoff. the best i've tasted so far is from Wok This Way which coincidentally offers the best sisig with egg. :)

and, this is why everybody wonders why i don't get fat.

world record holder

stress reaches a new high.

thank god for comfort foods. :)

the new world

the world needs less of you.

a person who does not know how to value other's feelings. or even think that other's opinions are worth listening to.

what is the matter with you?

do you think that the world revolves around you? i am so sorry for Galileo has already proven that the world revolves around the sun. and unless you are 333000 times the size or the Earth or 5800K on the outside, that isn't you.

i am also sorry to tell you that you sound very much like a social climber to me by talking about things you don't usually do. and, by saying you like things you don't usually experience. it would be better if you'd tell them to us after you have fully understood the feeling of experiencing such things.

also, i am very sorry to tell you that you don't stand by what you say. what is discipline if you don't know how to flush the toilet. what is time management if you let others wait just so you could watch your shows on YouTube. what is compassion if you don't know how to treat others well.

that is so cool right?

anyway, i am enjoying this non-talking agreement we are having. and, also, i would like to tell you that i do things to piss you off without you knowing it was me. :)

P.S. i am sorry, it was only one time. but, you ought to learn your lesson.

P.P.S. this is so un-proactive of me.

toxic passenger

tonight, on my way home, i encountered this woman.

we didn't have any direct interaction with each other. the only thing common between us is that we shared the same jeepney.

it would be more accurate to say the she was there before me. and, i never knew all of the experiences she had inside the jeepney before our eventual meeting.

i did not have enough information for me to judge her as a person. but, there times that when a person speaks we can deduce the way of thinking that he/she has.

when it is about time for her to alight the vehicle, he pulled the rope to signal the driver of her intentions. the driver stepped on the brake pedal for the jeep to stop. however, i do not think that the woman received this very well as she tumbled towards the front end of the vehicle. it was a good thing that there were people inside to stop her from rolling continuously.

this was quite a funny-yet-awkward sight since there were no other people whose body reacted the way hers did.

on her way down the jeep, she shouted to the driver:

Manong, ano ba?! Lasing ka ba? Kanina ka pa brake ng brake ah.

this signified that she was not happy with what just happened. and, so was i.

i wanted to alight from the jeepney and follow her. i wanted to lecture her about inertia and momentum. i would like to have told her that it was better that the vehicle's brake mechanism works.

however, my mind tells me that i shouldn't be like her. we shouldn't all be.